


Chamomile Tea

by keepmovingforward



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Insomnia, M/M, Pre lovey dovey stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-09 15:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1147622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepmovingforward/pseuds/keepmovingforward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan hasn't slept in three days. His insomnia has suddenly become a bit worse than usual. Gavin tries to help out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, Kids. This is my first Achievement Hunter story and my first Freewood story, too. This stems from my painful obsession with Ryan Haywood. 
> 
> I'll be posting this on Tumblr so if you lovely readers want to follow me my url is noodlesforbrunch.

Ryan hadn’t slept in days. He’d been dealing with insomnia for years and it had never really been a problem. He settled for three to four hours of sleep a night instead of the typical eight, but the past three days he’d slept for maybe two hours tops. Ryan just couldn't fall asleep. In bed by ten at the latest, he would lay there for hours trying to get his brain to stop cycling through everything he had to do the next day, random facts, or possible pranks he could pull on an unexpecting co-worker, or specifically Gavin. Eventually, he'd give up his efforts and pull up his laptop to add to his ever growing Insomnia City in Minecraft. After three days of no sleep he was losing it and it was obvious.  


Ryan walked into the warehouse a half an hour early. He’d left early deciding not to waste anymore time sitting at home when he’d been dressed and ready to go for two hours. The man sank into his chair and ran his hands over his face. He was absolutely exhausted, physically and mentally. Between his brain’s constant movement and having no energy to eat, Ryan had no idea how he was even conscious.  
By lunch time, Ryan was sure he would pass out if he didn't try and sleep, so while everyone was out to lunch, Ryan laid down on the couch in the Achievement Hunter office hoping to sleep. But he just laid there on his back with his arm draped over his eyes thinking and thinking and thinking.  


“Mother fucker.” Ryan whispered to himself after spending thirty minutes trying to sleep. At that moment, Gavin walked into the office.  


“Yeesh, Rye Bread, watch the language, there might be children about. Don’t want to corrupt their virgin ears now do we?”  


“I’m not in the mood, Gavin, so just fuck off alright?” Ryan replied impatiently rolling to his side away from the desks and away from Gavin.  


“You’re not one for cursing, especially at me...something bothering you?” Ryan could hear the concern in Gavin’s voice, making his stomach turn. He hated worrying anyone, especially the lad.  


“It’s really nothing. Just drop it.” He knew Gavin wouldn't drop it. Gavin couldn't drop anything except maybe a fragile object. And so it began. Gavin knelt down next to Ryan’s head and began his pestering.  


“Please tell me.” The boy poked Ryan’s head which was answered by a swat and silence.  


“Pretty please, Rye Breaaaaad.” Gavin pulled Ryan’s hair as he whined.  


“Fuck off.”  


“Pretty please with a cherry on top?” Gavin pulled Ryan’s arm away from his eyes, Gavin’s hazel meeting Ryan’s blue. The man could tell that Gavin noticed the dark circles under his eyes that looked more like bruises and the red lines trailing through the whites of Ryan’s eyes.  


“Can’t you see I’m trying to sleep!” Ryan yelled. He watched Gavin cower away from him and his heart sank. It was so unlike him. Ryan wasn't one for yelling. He wasn’t even much for talking. He preferred being silent, but his sudden increased insomnia had him on edge and therefore leading to increased yelling.  
Ryan sat up on the couch and faced Gavin. He rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes.  


“Listen, Gavin, I’m sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I’m just so fucking tired.” Ryan sighed heavily. All he wanted to do was sleep. He ran his hands through his hair and looked at Gavin. The lad had this dumb look in his eyes like a sad puppy. “ I haven’t slept in, like, three days. Haven’t really eaten either. I really am sorry. I just need to sleep.”  


“Why can’t you sleep?” Gavin asked, his voice laced with worry. Ryan really hated making him worry. He wanted to do the opposite. He wanted Gavin not to have a care in the world when he was with Ryan. He wanted him to feel protected, safe, and happy. Not worried and shying away from Ryan’s rare burst of aggression.  


“I have insomnia. Always have. For some reason this week my brain just won’t shut up. I can’t stop thinking about work and dumb facts and pranks and you. It’s driving me nuts.”  


“Why don’t you just shut it off?” Gavin questioned. It was obvious he didn’t have this problem despite his constant energy. Ryan sighed and rubbed his temples. His head was slowly starting to pound. God, he was tired.  


“It doesn’t really work like that, Gav. If it did I would be happily in dreamland right now.”  


“Well maybe I can help. I’ll be right back.”  


Right back took a little longer than Ryan would have thought, but ten minutes later Gavin returned, a steaming mug in his hand. He handed it to Ryan.  


“Chamomile tea. Decaf, obviously. Mum used to make it for me when I was a young lad to help me sleep. Maybe it will work for you.” Gavin grinned wide. Ryan took a sip, savoring the taste. He knew it wouldn’t work, but he humored Gavin. Anything he could do to make him feel better after yelling at him.  


“Thanks, man. I appreciate the effort.” Ryan downed the last of the tea and laid back on the couch, replacing his arm over his eyes. He heard squeaking as he laid down. Peeking out from under his eyes he could see Gavin rolling a chair over to Ryan and sitting down, legs crossed on the seat.  


“What are you doing?” Ryan questioned, uncovering his eyes and sitting up on his elbows.  


“Shut up and go to sleep, you knob.” Gavin commanded. Ryan did as he was told with a muttered ‘fair enough’, and settled back down to futilely try and sleep. For some reason though his brain wasn’t spinning like usual, now his brain was focused on one thing and that was Gavin. Before Ryan had time to question it, Gavin was moving, making noise despite his attempts to be quiet. Suddenly, there was a hand in Ryan’s sandy hair, gently pushing it out of his face and then brushing it back over and over. It was then that Ryan could feel himself drifting, his brain shut down slowly only focusing on the fingers running lightly through his hair. Ryan sighed slightly and settled in for sleep.  


“Sweet dreams, Ryan.” The man heard Gavin whisper before he drifted off. He made a mental note to thank the lad later and promptly invite him to stay at his house forever. Maybe then he’d have some semblance of a sleep schedule. Ryan fell asleep with thoughts of waking up to Gavin every morning, a soft smile gracing his face.

****************  


Not too long after Ryan fell asleep the rest of the Achievement Hunter office returned from lunch. As they came bustling in they received a well deserved ‘shush’ from Gavin who pointed to the sleeping Ryan.  


“Keep quiet, donuts.” Gavin hushed the group.  


“Why so you can keep cuddling with your boyfriend?” Michael teased from his desk. Gavin’s stomach flipped at the mention of boyfriends…he didn't want to be Ryan's boyfriend...did he?  


“No, Michael. Because our dear friend Ryan has insomnia and hasn’t slept in three days so bugger off!” At that the other men left the two alone, all editing silently as Ryan snored on the couch, Gavin’s fingers still running through his hair.


	2. Chapter 2

     Ryan was pacing around his apartment, cell phone in hand. He’d spent the last hour deciding whether or not to text Gavin. It’d been about a week since Ryan had fallen asleep in the office, since he woke up three hours later as everyone was packing up to go home, with Gavin’s hand still in his hair. That night he slept a full eight hours for the first time in years and boy, was it wonderful. He went into work early the next day wanting to thank Gavin before everyone got to the office only to have Gavin wave him off and promise to make Ryan tea whenever he couldn’t sleep.

     Now it was the following week and Ryan couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t slept in two days and he was getting restless. It was midnight and Ryan could feel the insomnia weighing on him. His brain was moving a mile a minute, thoughts shifting between sleep, Minecraft, work, and Gavin. Over and over his mind cycled back to Gavin, thinking of last week when he had woken up to Gavin’s smile, wondering what it would be like to wake up to that smile everyday, only to shake that thought out of his brain and move back to work and the millions of assignments he had to do in the morning. There was no way he was falling asleep. Which is why Ryan was pacing a hole in his floor trying to convince himself to send the text that he typed over an hour ago.

     “Shit, shit, shit.” He muttered to himself as he walked. He was exhausted again. His eyes burned as he stared at his phone. Even with his glasses on it was painful to read.

                             New Message:

                              Hey, Gav. It’s Ryan. Listen, I know it’s late, but I can’t sleep. I don’t know what to do… My mind just won’t shut up.

     He mentally kicked himself. It was just insomnia. He didn’t need Gavin. He didn’t know why he was over reacting.

     “Suck it up, Ryan...fucking pull it together.” He whispered to himself. He was fine. He just couldn’t sleep on his own. And could only sleep when Gavin was around… Ryan hit send before he could reconsider. He plopped down on the couch with a loud sigh, picking up his laptop off the coffee table to continue his work on Insomnia City. Before he could get back to work, his phone buzzed. Ryan’s breath hitched. He didn’t know what to expect. He definitely did not expect Gavin’s response to be “Be right over:)”, but there it was clear as day, well not exactly clear, but just a little fuzzy. Ryan’s stomach flipped. He couldn’t figure it out. He was a grown ass man, yet here he was with butterflies, over who? Fucking Gavin Free. Ryan groaned, dropping his head in his hands.

     “What the hell have you gotten yourself into, Haywood.”

 

     Gavin showed up fifteen minutes later with a small box in hand.

     “Hello, Ryan. Feeling sleepy?” Gavin said with a smile. He stepped through the door and Ryan closed it behind him.

     “I’m exhausted. Still no sleep.” Ryan shrugged.

     “That’s alright, love. I’ll have you fixed up in no time. Where’s your kettle?” Ryan pointed him in the direction of the kitchen where the kettle was sitting on the stove top. Gavin filled it with water and set it to boil. Ryan barely noticed what Gavin was doing, he was silently caught up on being called ‘love’. Pull it together, dude. He calls everyone love. Despite the rationalization, Ryan’s brain spiraled into a mess of what being called love could mean. The lack of sleep was really getting to him. He was usually so level headed and now just a word could unhinge his mind. He definitely needed sleep.

      Ryan wasn’t dragged out of his mind until the kettle started to whistle. He clasped his ears out of reflex with a sharp intake of breath, the whistle causing his head to pound. Gavin looked over at Ryan with a worried look.

     “Sorry, Ryan. Let’s get you some tea.” Gavin searched through the cabinets in the tiny kitchen, finding a mug, adding a tea bag and some water. Ryan sat at the little kitchen table and Gavin joined him putting the mug in front of his friend.

     “Thanks.” Ryan muttered, his head still pounding.

     “No problem.” Gavin looked down nervously. “Hey, Rye Bread? Can I ask you something?”

     “Yeah, sure, what’s up?” Ryan’s stomach was flipping with nerves. Being asked if you can be asked a question was never good.

     “What do you think about when you can’t sleep? I know you said you think about work a lot, but you also said you think about me. ” Gavin looked scared out of his wits, like he was afraid Ryan would snap on him any minute. Ryan sipped his chamomile tea quietly, he could already feel the drowsiness setting in.

     “Um...why don’t we talk about it tomorrow, when I don’t feel like I’m going to pass out or, you know, die.” The man was tense. He didn’t expect Gavin to drop the conversation, especially after last week’s pestering.

     “Okay. That’s fine. I won’t pry. You done your tea?” Ryan nodded and Gavin stood up, taking the mug to the sink. “Let’s get you in bed, then.”

     “What, are you gonna tuck me in and tell me a bedtime story?” Ryan chuckled to himself.

     “If that’s what’s going to make you fall asleep, then yes.” Gavin responded, looking confident. Ryan shrugged, stood up from the table, and gestured for Gavin to follow him.

  
  


     Ryan pulled back the covers on his bed and climbed in. He didn’t realized that Gavin had climbed in on the other side until he had turned over and was greeted by the lad’s smiling face.

     “What are you doing?” The older man asked as Gavin shifted closer to him.

     “Shut up and go to sleep, love.” Ryan sighed. He leaned over to turn out the light and settled back in bed. He could barely make out Gavin’s shape in the dark. He could just see Gavin reach out his arm from under the blanket and bring it to rest gently on Ryan’s head, winding his fingers through Ryan’s sandy hair. He was nervous, so nauseatingly nervous. It was a first. No one had ever put him so on edge in the best way. But here he was, Gavin was in his bed. Gavin’s fingers were wound through his hair. He was going to wake up to Gavin tomorrow. He didn’t know whether to panic or grin. This is what he’d been wishing for since last week when Ryan fell asleep in the office, what he hadn’t known he wanted until that point.

     Ryan could feel himself start to slip into unconsciousness. He didn’t understand what about Gavin could quiet his mind and make him feel safe, but it was something and he was grateful. In his last minutes of consciousness, he swung an arm over Gavin’s waist with a muttered “thank you” and he was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

He had expected strange looks when he showed up to work with Gavin the next morning. It was practically the walk of shame. Gavin’s hair was sticking up at all angles, his shirt crumpled in random spots. They got looks from everyone walking into work. They weren’t condescending, more curious, however Ryan had not expected this much attention walking into work. He had most definitely not expected to be pulled into the hallway by Geoff with a short “Let’s chat” five minutes after arriving in the Achievement Hunter office.

“What’s up, boss?” Ryan questioned. He watched Geoff run his hand over his face.

“What the fuck, man?” Geoff sighed loudly, hand dropping to his side.  Ryan gave a questioning look.

“Are you hooking up with Gavin or something?” Ryan’s eyebrow cocked as he tried to play it cool.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Stuttering, Haywood, really…

“Come on, Ryan. Gavin leaves in the middle of the night saying he was heading to your place for a bit and then you guys come into work together, both of you looking like you were touching butts all night. I’m not stupid…” Ryan ran a hand through his hair. He really hated being interrogated about his life, even if Geoff was the one interrogating.

“It isn’t like that. I have insomnia and for some reason he helps me fall asleep. That’s it. He crashed at my place. Nothing happened. Nothing’s going to happen.” Ryan crossed his arms in frustration. He had always been kind of shy. The fact that he had opened up as much as he had over the years at Rooster Teeth was actually rather surprising to him. But now that his feelings were being questioned, he could feel himself retreating, choosing to put walls back up and push people away, rather than open up and get over himself.

“Look, Ry, I’m not trying to play overprotective dad. Gavin isn’t my kid and he’s an adult. He can make his own decisions...I can tell how he feels about you, so if you aren’t quite sure how you feel, maybe you should figure it out before he gets hurt.”  Geoff’s sleepy eyes bore into Ryan. He couldn’t stand it.

“I fucking said nothing’s going to happen! Just drop it!” Ryan stormed off, bumping Geoff’s shoulder as he went.

 

*****************************************

It was three in the fucking morning and there was no goddamn way Ryan was falling asleep. There was also no way in hell he was texting Gavin back. After his conversation with Geoff, Ryan had spent twenty minutes at his desk in the warehouse switching between banging his head against the hard surface and pacing around in his crown, muttering to himself. He was the Mad King after all. During his minor bout of crazy, Ryan decided that he couldn’t do whatever it was he was doing with Gavin. Whether or not Gavin helped him sleep was irrelevant. He knew he was hurting them both. Ryan decided to put his wall back up. The Mad King had decided to build the fortress higher, add a moat, and a vicious dragon to protect himself. He wouldn’t drag Gavin into his crazy, little world anymore.

He didn’t expect Gavin to try and break down the fortress immediately, but the lad was there, slamming his fists against the door of the imaginary fortress, screaming his name as the Mad King plugged his ears. This was all in the form of a simple text at three in the morning.

 

Gavin: Hey, Rye-bread. Was expecting a text from you, especially after today. I know you and Geoff argued. The prick wouldn’t tell me why. You okay?

 

Ryan held his phone in his hand, rereading the text for the hundredth time in the last ten minutes. He had to resist the urge to respond. It was going very well until Ryan received another message.

 

Gavin: I know you’re awake, you bloody pleb. Tell me you’re okay.

 

The man felt sick. He wanted nothing more than to text Gavin back, to have Gavin come over, make Ryan tea, and feel those stupid, gamer hands in his hair. He couldn’t have that though.

 

Gavin: Please, Ryan. Just let me know you’re alright and I’ll leave you alone. You’re worrying me.

 

The text hurt. He had never known Gavin to be so desperate and worried, especially over Ryan. Ryan took pity on the boy, or at least that’s what he told himself as he texted back with a short “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me”.

 

Gavin: If you say so. Night, Rye-bread.

 

“Fuck!” Ryan’s yell echoed through the empty house. He hated that he was ruining anything he had with Gavin. He hated that he needed Gavin so much. He hated how tired he was. He hated how he couldn’t sleep. He hated this stupid fortress he built around himself. Most of all he hated himself. He threw his phone into the chair on the other side of the room and didn’t move to look at it until his alarm went off at 7:30, telling him it was time to get ready for work.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. There's only one more short chapter left out after this. I'm not sure how I feel about how it went, but after a very frustrating bout of writer's block this is what I came up with<3  
> Enjoy!

 

    Ryan had been subtly ignoring Gavin for the last two days. The day after Ryan had told Gavin he was fine when he was absolutely not fine, Gavin said nothing. Part of Ryan’s mind was satisfied, part was disappointed. With that, Ryan ignored Gavin as much as possible, barely talking to him in Let’s Plays, ignoring any push of Team Love and Stuff, and pretending that his insomnia had completely disappeared when Gavin had asked how Ryan was sleeping. In reality, Ryan hadn’t slept in three days, had barely eaten, had consumed an entire box of chamomile tea, and was losing his mind just a little (whether from lack of sleep or stress from having to actively ignore Gavin, he wasn’t sure).

    It was Friday afternoon and Ryan was basking in the beautiful revelation that in a few hours he would no longer have to actively ignore Gavin. He could just lock himself in his house, turn off his phone, and play games all weekend. It was an immense relief. He couldn’t wait to relax. He had been the opposite of relaxed for days, and now, with the Red Bull he had just downed and the zero hours of sleep under his belt, his nerves were destroyed and he couldn’t sit still. He bounced his legs as he packed up his computer in the Achievement Hunter office, waiting for the day to finally end.

    He hadn’t expected to be forced into the hallway by Gavin with ten minutes til the end of the day. Gavin grabbed Ryan’s arm and pulled him from the office, crossing his arms after shoving Ryan not so lightly against the wall in the hallway.

    “What’s your problem, dude?” Ryan said, defensively. He wasn’t angry, or offended, or whatever. It was just that stupid fortress trying to keep Gavin out.

     “What’s my problem? You’re ignoring me, that’s my bloody problem!” Gavin had a fist clenched at his side and was using the other hand to pin Ryan to the wall. There was no escape.

    “I’m not ignoring you, simpleton.” Ryan hated mocking the lads intelligence. Gavin wasn’t stupid in the slightest and he hated being called such. The dumb fortress was pushing Gavin away more.

    “I’m not a fucking simple...whatever, Ryan! You know I’m not stupid! If I was I wouldn’t be able to see you ignore me for no reason!” Gavin sighed. He looked defeated. He looked like he hadn’t slept either. Dark circles, almost as dark as Ryan’s, ringed his eyes. His eyes weren’t quite as bright as normal. It was upsetting. He had done this to his friend. He knew he had. He’d made him worry. All Ryan wanted to do was fix it. To hold Gavin and apologize and then sleep for days with the lad in his arms, but that fortress he had built was fighting it and he didn’t even know why. At least he couldn’t remember at this current point of exhaustion. Whatever the reason was it seemed completely irrelevant now.

    “You know, Ryan, I wanted to hope you wouldn’t do this. It took so long to pull down that wall you built. I thought it was down for good, but here we are. You’re bloody ignoring me, and being a prick. You’re pushing me away. All I did was care. All I did was try to help you and now you’re treating me like crap! Geoff was right. I should have listened when he said you’d hurt me.”

    Gavin gave Ryan a final shove and turned back toward the office. Before he could start walking, Ryan grabbed Gavin’s wrist and spun him around.

    “I’m so, so sorry.” Ryan muttered. Before Gavin could say anything the older man was kissing him. Any arguments Gavin had come up with were immediately erased from his mind as he wrapped his arms around Ryan’s neck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is the last crappy chapter. It's like half a page. I apologize for that. I hope you all liked it. It was a nice attempt at writing for me. It's been a long time since I've written something and even longer since I've finished something I've started. I'm proud of this story whether or not it's good. Thanks for reading. Here you go! The last chapter of Chamomile Tea.

    “Do you want tea, love?” Gavin asked from the kitchen as Ryan took off his shoes by the front door.

    “Nah. Let’s just go to bed, please. I haven’t slept in who knows how long.”

    “Me either. Race you there.”

 

     Ryan and Gavin laid in Ryan’s bed facing each other. Gavin’s fingers were already laced through the older man’s hair. Both their eyes were closed.

    “Hey, Gav?” Ryan whispered.

    “Yeah, Rye-bread?”

    “I really am sorry.” Ryan felt Gavin shift a little closer as the boy laced his fingers through Ryan’s.

    “Don’t apologize. I understand. Just don’t do it again.” He could hear the shit-eating grin on Gavin’s face.

    “Promise. Good night, Gavin.”

    “Good night, Ryan.”


End file.
